Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I HATE RODENTS

If you know me at all you will know that I struggle with a few things in life.

1. Singing in public-  I can sing in church next to Lincoln because he has a great voice and he usually drowns me out.  However, I really hate singing in choirs or small groups.  It just freaks me out.  Because of this I HATE kareoke, not just doing it, but watching people do it.  I think this is why I don't like American Idol.

2. I can't handle people touching my face.  I have always struggled with dirty hands and more importantly, those dirty hands getting on my face.  Lincoln is trying to rid me of this fear by touching my face every so often.  I can handle it sometimes, but I still freak when he does it in public or before I know he washed his hands.  It's a work in progress.

3. The number one thing that I can't handle is RODENTS!!!!!  I hate them.  I hate mice, rats, squarrels, rabbits, possums, chipmunks, you name it, I hate them.  They are creepy and dirty and I think that they have no reason to be on this earth.  Even spiders have a purpose, name one good reason for any rodent.  I hate them so much that when I talk about them, my feet automatically have to rise off the floor.  I can't talk about them without thinking they will run by and eat my toes.  

This has been the summer of the mouse!  That's right, it has been awful, well, the mouse part of the summer.  There has been some construction by our condo next to a field close by.  Well, you can only guess what that brings to our house.  We have only had two, but in my opinion, that is two too many.  We only had evidence of the first one with little signs here and there that we had a unwanted house guest.  Lincoln took care of that and we thought we were done.  Unfortunately, the other night I was sitting on my couch minding my own business crocheting a blanket and getting ready to watch Project Runway when I saw something in the corner of my eye.  I thought I was just imagining things when the disgusting thing actually had the nerve to run into my living room and hide behind the tv.  Well you can only imagine the mass hysteria that came out of me.  Lincoln was upstairs playing a live video game and was feeling really torn between rescuing his wife and finishing the task he was working on with his friends online.  I on the other hand was torn between taking my own life then and there or jumping out the window behind me.  I decided to do neither of those things (too messy) and after a few minutes of playing chicken with the mouse, I swear it was staring me down, I grabbed the things around me that meant the most to me and I bolted upstairs to safety.  After having a mini nervous breakdown I decided I could not go back downstairs until the matter was taken care of.  I made Lincoln run down and close our bedroom door so the mouse wouldn't get all cozy in our bed then go out right away and purchase the some mouse killing items.  I don't care what PETA says about it, I hate rodents!!  I spent a very restless night on the floor of the office having nightmares of little mice chewing at my fingernails and nesting in my hair.  I was a mess.  Before you judge, I need to remind you that fears are irrational and you too have a fear that I would laugh at.  Anyway, long story short, I have since done research on how to mouse proof our home and Lincoln was my hero by taking the very dangerous task of making it happen.  I am so grateful that he has been so good about not making any jokes about seeing a mouse and faking me out.  I am slowly getting my pulse down to the normal rhythm and I am back to sleeping in my own bed (but not after bleaching EVERYTHING.)  

I know this was a very long post, and posts without pictures are usually boring, but I didn't really want a picture of a creepy rodent on here.  I thought about putting a picture of my clean house on here to prove that my home is in good condition and not a place you would normally expect gross creatures to roam, but I thought that would seem a little desperate.  Just trust me, I don't deserve this!!  Nobody is perfect and we all deal with our own little fears and issues.  I think that by admitting I have a problem is the first step.  

6 comments:

Ranteumptom said...

Well you can stop worrying about possums, which are marsupials, and rabbits, which are . . . rabbitupials. Not rodents at least. I'm sure the fact that they're not in the rodent family will make them less horrible. Except that possums are just horrible to everyone.

Steph & James said...

Um, I HATE rodents too. We had one this summer, and after James told me he saw one in the basement, I made him go out at midnight to get traps!

Laurie & Clint said...

Yikes! I would freak out if there was a mouse in our house too. Although if a bunny or a chipmunk got in I would probably be excited! Clint, however would not like that.

Sarah said...

I'm with you, Mal. I hate them too! I've lived with mice, rats, and cockroaches. Oh, even a few snakes hanging from some trees I walked by when I lived in Thailand. I hate them all. Heck, I've even seen a possum walking in our backyard and it looked just like those Rodents of Unusual Size in the movie The Princess Bride.

I was a little surprised to hear you don't like American Idol. I love that show. Well, I love SYTYCD more, but I still like AI. Why didn't I know you didn't like it very much?

Oh, and I think you've passed the "no one touching my face" thing on to me. After living with you for so many years, I really don't like when people touch my face either. I won't touch my own face if I'm in public until I wash my hands.

Anyway, it was fun to get an update from you.

Serena Cherry said...

I can think of another fear you have: stripped down mattresses. I always think of you when I see one or touch one! Ha! Not that I love touching them or anything, I just love thinking about you freaking out about them! I didn't know you didn't like Idol either! Hmmm...it's been too long since we lived together!

Well, I am glad that you brought this rodent thing to my attention now because when you stayed with us in Hampden...you were practically sleeping with mice. I am sorry! We did everything we could to get rid of them...we even kept a tally of all the mice we killed and it was somewhere around 12 or 13 or something! At first I would let out horrible, blood-curdling (so chris says) screams, but towards the end of our stay in that house, I wouldn't even flinch if I saw one around. I know. It's disgusting. I think it is what happens when you live in a city and you are poor. Maybe rich people get them too, but probably not. We even had an Orkin guy (Clarence) who used to come by the house once a month to make sure we didn't have any insects around (my mom paid for him to come after we had fleas and cockroaches the first month of our stay!!) and Clarence told me a trick about mice that you are going to love: you really can just "bop them on the head" and they will die. They have no skull, which is why they can squeeze into tiny holes, so when you "bop" them they are killed instantly. I never actually tried out this theory because I didn't ever want to get close enough to a mouse to test it out, but it was gross.

Okay, I know this is really turning into an email and I should just stop now, but I just remembered the WORST mouse story and I feel compelled to share it with you. And then I will stop typing, I promise. It was when Lane was a brand new baby and we'd had people over the night before and they were really nice to do the dishes for me since I had a brand new baby (we didn't have a dishwasher). Anyway, the next morning when I came downstairs, I noticed that they hadn't drained the dish water and it was gross...obviously. Anyway, I tried to pry off the stopper with a spoon and wasn't succeeding and so I chided myself for being such a baby and thrust my hand in the cold, greasy water to unplug the sink. After the water drained...I saw it. My heart fell in my stomach and I started to scream. There was a lump of a dead mouse in the drain. I started shaking violently and called Chris immediately and told him he needed to come home right then to get rid of the mouse. I left the house right then and there with Lane, feeling that it wasn't sanitary for us to be there any longer. We didn't return until Chris had removed the mouse, bleached the whole kitchen and promised he would drain the water every night before bed.

That's it. I should really just post this on my blog, it was so long. I think I will. I'm sorry to write the whole thing hear, but it feels good to get it off my chest!

Good luck with the mice, and I love you Mal!

Kate said...

You know my fears about spiders. I had to have Candace move in to help with my issues with them. I feel your pain. It is no laughing matter. I hope the problem is over for you.